Spiritual Depression
Someone said in a posting that :
I know the medicines that will help,
I don't know why I am depleted of the energy
to take these. But I will. I tell myself everyday,
I should. Insha allah!
If you will bear with me and journey through
the following meanderings, perhaps, you will
be able to place some of how you indicated
you felt in the foregoing quote in a different
perspective.
People interested in the Sufi Path are familiar
with the idea of barakah which emanates, by
the Grace of Allah, through the locus of manifestation
known as a shaykh. The shaykh really constitutes
the local opening of the underground spring of
spirituality which feeds a given silsilah, a spring which
is shaped in the form of Muhammad (peace be upon
him), and which dispenses the waters of Divinity.
People interested in the Sufi Path sometimes spend
less time thinking about the idea that there is such a
thing as 'anti-barakah' which is an active agent which
poisons the drinking places of spirituality. Iblis has
been busy poisoning the drinking places of spirituality
for thousands of years, and he has many dajjal under
his command who are busily engaged in this process.
From a Satanic perspective, the most effective poisons
don't necessarily kill right away. Rather, the 'best'
poisons linger in the system and cause suffering over
a long period of time.
A Sufi shaykh once demonstrated the importance of
association in the following manner. He instructed someone
to place a stone in a garden and leave the stone for a
period of time.
Eventually, the shaykh instructed that the stone be removed
from the garden and had the stone passed around among his
mureeds to be smelled. The stone had absorbed the fragrances of the garden and everyone could detect the influence of the garden upon the stone.
Next, the shaykh indicated that the same stone should be
taken to the outhouse and left. When, after a time, this
stone was removed and passed around among the mureeds,
the stone had a very different aroma.
The human heart is far more porous and vulnerable to
the influences within a given environment than is a
rock. This is why both the Prophet and shaykhs have
warned people about the importance of the company
which one keeps ... one will be influenced by the
forces at work in such company - be this for good or
bad.
Consequently, even when the talk may be about
spiritual issues and even what is written may be
about spiritual issues, the fact of the matter is,
there may be other influences at work beneath
the surface which are affecting us in ways about
which we may not be immediately aware - only
later do we begin to pay attention to the
unwanted, but very present, elements which
have seeped into our lives.
Spiritual betrayal and abuse are highly toxic
poisons. The effects of these influences linger
on long after the source of the poison and
toxicity has been withdrawn from a given
spiritual ecology - whether this be an individual
or a group.
Amongst the people whom I have encountered
who have experienced spiritual abuse - whether
directly or indirectly - and this includes me, I
have noticed there tend to be certain elements
which these people share with respect to dealing
with the aftermath or aftershocks of the spiritual
earthquake which has struck at the 10.0 level of
the Richter scale, with the epicenter running through
one's heart. More specifically, all of them experience:
profound grief; a deep sense of betrayal with a
concomitant loss of trust; spiritual depression;
considerable alienation (both within themselves,
as well as in conjunction with others); a listlessness
which is the result of spiritual disorientation; a feeling
of spiritual disconnectedness; a growing awareness
that those who have not experienced such spiritual
abuse really have little understanding or appreciation
of the nature of the problem in which one is ensconced,
and, finally, a sense of cynicism toward the process
of spirituality and not necessarily toward God.
To gain some insight into the horror of all this one has
to understand that something more is at play than
merely being mistreated at the hands of another human
being. Furthermore, one is not talking about a situation
in which another person has made a mistake, and one
has been adversely affected by that mistake.
There is a malevolence underlying and running through
the spiritual abuse. Iblis is not interested in just misleading
human kind. He wishes to destroy the potential for spirituality
which resides within human beings. He does not want to
just human beings through difficult times, he wants to poison
the spiritual well forever.
The so-called teachers or shaykhs who are frauds and
charlatans may be described as people who merely let
their nafs get the better of them and, in the process,
got too caught up in issues of power, status, wealth,
sexual adventures, and the exercise of worldly kashf. I
don't believe this ... I believe there is much more active
collusion with Iblis which is taking place than many people
might suppose.
There are four broad ways in which a false teacher can
seek to destroy another human being's spiritual life. First,
they can waste that person's time with activities which, on
the surface seem to be of spiritual value but, in reality,
carry no, or extremely limited, barakah due to the absence
of a supporting silsilah which is authentic and intimately
tied to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
Secondly, a charlatan can introduce teachings which,
although alluring in this or that way, are, in fact, false
or problematic teachings which introduce spiritual poisons
and toxins into a person's body, mind, heart, and soul -
poisons and toxins which often are extremely difficult to
flush from a person's interior life. Thirdly, the spiritual
abuser can leave the person who has been abused with
such a sense of betrayal, mistrust, cynicism, alienation,
and disconnectedness that the abused person never
recovers from the abuse. Finally, fourthly, the abusive
person can wreak havoc on the marital, social, economic,
financial, psychological, and familial life of an individual
to such an extent that it takes years, if it happens at all, for
a person to recover from the trauma of the life problems
which have been introduced into one’s life via the
lies, exploitations, manipulations, and malevolent intentions
of the spiritual charlatan.
A spiritual imposter or dajjal does not care which of the
foregoing four possibilities befall an individual. Anything
which will introduce suffering into the life of another
human being is - for the abuser - a desirable thing.
It is not that these people know not what they do, but,
rather they know all too well. Like Iblis, these people
can believe in God and, yet, seek to do malevolent deeds
nonetheless - they get a kick out of doing evil - even if
there should be consequences for such evil ... they don’t
care ... they are enjoying themselves too much in the
here and now by performing deeds which they know are
evil ... indeed, this is the drug on which they are hooked -
doing evil while they know it is evil. They find it very,
very arousing and stimulating and intoxicating.
When a person encounters such malevolence - and no
matter how seemingly loving, kind, compassionate,
and learned a person may appear on the surface of things,
what is going on is, nevertheless, malevolence in action -
it affects one in very tangible ways. For instance, a
person may not lose faith in God, and, yet, still find
themselves unable to actively pursue a spiritual life.
One may know that doing zikr, reading the Qur’an,
saying Fatiha, observing prayers, performing fasts, and
doing service are all good things to do. Yet, a spiritual
malaise has permeated one’s consciousness and acts as
something of an impenetrable boundary between what
one knows would be good for one and what one actually
does.
In this condition, one comes to appreciate - in a very
visceral, intimate manner - that one has a lot of assumptions,
attitudes, ideas, biases, misunderstandings about how God
goes about the Divine Himma and purpose. In other words,
one accepts that what is going on is in accordance with
Divine purpose, but one no longer understands how one
fits in with that purpose.- not that one ever did before one
became aware of the presence of spiritual abuse.
We have always believed that if we did zikr, or fatiha, or
other forms of spiritual activity with sincerity, then, everything
would kind of work out for us spiritually. Yet, we have
substantial evidence - in the form of an fraudulent spiritual
guide - that we formerly believed or held to be true may
not be true - at least not in the way we supposed.
God does not need, nor does Divinity have to accept anything
which we do. God is entirely independent of us. Indeed, the
great shaykhs have warned us that we should not look to
our prayers, and fasts, and seclusions as somehow being
the ‘cause’ of Divine favor. Practices are necessary, but they
are not sufficient ... and they never will be.
People who have been spiritually abused have been given a
tremendous opportunity - an opportunity which is there for
everyone but which is very difficult to recognize when there
is no overt, pressing, compelling reason to do so. Once Divinity
has thrown our lives into spiritual disarray by uprooting us
from our sleep of ‘pleasant spirituality’(i.e., our lives before
realization of the presence of spiritual abuse), then, we have
the opportunity to engage in spiritual practices for no reason
whatsoever - for no reward or ulterior motive or to gain in
spiritual station or due to a desire for this anomalous hal or that altered state of consciousness.
Oddly enough, the spiritual path is really only confusing - and
potentially dangerous - for people who have experienced this
or that out of the ordinary spiritual condition. Absent such
experiences, the spiritual path is really quite straightforward
- follow the Sunnah (and not necessarily the Hadith - for we
were never instructed to do the latter, only the former) of the
Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) - that is, seek to be:
kind, generous, forgiving, tolerant, compassionate, noble, patient, grateful, humble, just, honest, sincere, considerate, helpful, loving, charitable, repentant, willing to struggle with the negative and problematic qualities of the unredeemed nafs.
The Qur’an keeps directing our attention to all of the foregoing qualities, and quite aside from whatever ‘reward’ value the basic pillars of Islam may have, one might be better off to look at the pillars as activities which can better assist one to follow
the Sunnah of the Prophet - “So, the one who has obeyed
the Messenger has obeyed God” (Qur’an 4:80) and, again,
“Say Muhammad: “If you love Allah, then, follow me, so
that God may love you.” (7:198)
What does it mean to follow the Prophet? Perhaps, the
most important manner of following the example of
the Prophet is to seek to emulate, according to one’s
capacity to do so, the intention of the Prophet - and,
his intention was always to be the ‘abd, or servant,
of Divinity. I do not believe there was ever one single
time in the life of the Prophet when his intention to
do something was because of his desire for Paradise
or due to a fear of Hell, or even a desire for
this or that maqam (station) or hal (state) - although the Prophet very much feared not being the servant of Allah, and, thereby, doing something which might displease Divinity. This
fear did not revolve around what would be lost (e.g.,
Paradise, spiritual states) or gained (i.e., Hell) but, rather,
concerned not being what God had given him the potential
to be and as God wished him to be - “”Nor doth he (Muhammad)
speak of his own accord” (Qur’an 53:3) ... and the speech of
the Prophet was through his sunnah, or actions, as well
as his words.”
The actions or Sunnah of the Prophet are, in a sense, much
easier to understand than are the Hadith of the Prophet
because actions such as: kindness, patience, gratitude,
humility, modesty, honesty, sincerity, nobility, integrity,
compassion, charitableness, repentance, courage, forgiveness,
forbearance, and love carry their own universal context, and
are instantly recognizable as such for what they are.
However, the context in which Hadiths are said or recorded
is not always clear, nor is the intention or intended scope
underlying such sayings always clear, and, furthermore, there
are a great many other sayings of the Prophet which can be
cited that have the capacity to modulate any single saying
of the Prophet in a variety of different directions - although
theologians, mullahs, and others often seem to easily forget
that every single saying of the Prophet is part of a much larger
body of sayings and actions which have the potential for
affecting the significance and role of any single saying,
and instead, they often tend to like to raise the single
saying to the status of a filter through which everything
else the Prophet did and said must be screened and
understood, rather than the other way around in which
any single saying of the Prophet must be filtered through
the entire body of teachings and actions which were
manifested through the Prophet.
Shabistari (may Allah be pleased with him) has said:
Dream not of lights,
Of marvels, of miracles
For your miracles are contained
In worshiping the Truth;
All else is pride, conceit,
And illusion of existence.
Implicit in the words of this great shaykh are the
following list of things for which one ought not
to seek or dream:
Worry not about states,
nor stations, nor Paradise
nor the terrors of Hell.
For everything is contained
In sincerely seeking the Truth;
All else is dunya, mere fantasy
a collusion between nafs and Iblis.
The foregoing is relevant not just to the Sufi Path but to
the actions and teachings of any so-called community
leader - whether imam, mullah, mufti, qadi, - who
seeks to terrorize, exploit, or abuse people through
the dynamics of exploitation, manipulation, lying,
corruption, fear, prejudice, disinformation, and
misinformation. The problem of spiritual abuse within
the Muslim community is a great deal more inclusive
than just a matter of this or that fraudulent shaykh.
We live in the times of the increasing presence of dajjals -
both of the exoteric, as well as esoteric kind. All dajjals
have a malevolence about them, for they have, at heart,
a hatred for the truth - and it makes no difference whether
this is propagated through terrorist cells, or from the
member of a Friday khutba, or through the poisonous presence
of toxic ‘shaykhs, or via the diatribes of those who are seeking
power, name and fame and, as a result, seek to confuse people
about the nature of Deen and fitra.
One of the poisons which is introduced into our systems by
the various forms of dajjal - exoteric and esoteric - who are in
abundance these days is the assumption that one can only
pursue life through the channels which are being established
by the abusers. Once we accept this assumption, then, we
feel disconnected from things, and we have trouble motivating
ourselves spiritually, because we suppose that whatever we do has no real value because it is being done outside of the
‘accepted’ channels of spirituality and, therefore, will not have
the desired effect.
The blessing of coming to the realization that one has been
spiritually abused is to come to understand something special
about the Quranic ayat: “The Real has come and the unreal has
vanished away. Lo! falsehood is every bound to vanish.” (Qur’an, 17:81) More specifically, part of the Reality which has come is to understand that - quite innocently - one has been going about things in the wrong way, with the wrong intention.
The five duties which we have in our life are these: (1) always,
and everywhere, to sincerely seek the truth; (2) always and everywhere to act in accordance with what we know of the truth; (3) struggle to realize the potential of the God-given fitra within us; (4) use this potential to be a servant to the Divine purpose; (5) do all of the following in the light of the assistance which has been extended to us through the Hidayat or guidance of the Books of revelation, the Prophetic tradition, and the authentic practitioners of the truths which are given expression through the spiritual traditions.
“O Humankind! There has come to you a direction from your Lord, and a healing for the diseases in the hearts, and a guidance, and a mercy for those who have faith.” (Qur’an 10:57) This passage of the Qur’an could refer to the Qur’an, and/or to the Prophet, and/or the People of Truth, and/or the light of our own spiritual condition.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was happy with the person he was dispatching to Yemen as a judge designate - namely, Mu’adh ibn Jabal (may Allah be pleased with him) - when the latter indicated he would he would strive to find the light of his own heart (i.e., perform ijtihad) if he could not find an answer to a problem within either the Qur’an or the Sunnah. “Say (O Muhammad): This is my way. I call to God upon insight -
I and whoever follows me.” (12: 108)
There is a Hadith of the Prophet which says one should eat
that which is nearest one’s hand. Presumably, this is
because what has placed nearest to one is that which is
part of one’s rizq and one should not seek to obtain what
is beyond the boundaries of one’s rizq.
The same principle holds, I believe, with respect to
spiritual issues. Seek to grasp that which is closest at
hand - literally or metaphorically.
If there is no authentic shaykh - who is readily identifiable
as such (and this has been made a far more difficult, tricky
and dangerous task than most people suppose because of the
confusion, poison, and toxicity which have been spread
by the numerous dajjals (both exoteric and esoteric) who
are roaming the planet), then, one should seek to grab
hold of what is close by, and this is the God-given potential
we have been bequeathed for seeking to realize the nature of
our own fitra and God’s purpose.
This has nothing necessarily to do with states, stations,
Paradise, Hell, miracles, powers, or the like. It has to
do with our rizq - of going in search of our destiny.
Destiny can only be discovered through the truth of
things ... including ourselves. Real freedom can only
be exercised through the truth of things ... including
ourselves. One can only become a servant of one’s
rizq, and, therefore, Divine purpose, through the
truth of things about ourselves.
The purpose of ijtihad is to struggle for the truth of
things. The nature of ijtihad is to struggle toward
being sincerely open to the truth and, then, through
the insight which Allah provides - and, this is the
way of the Prophet - to proceed toward the uncovering
even more facets of the truth of things.
If an authentic shaykh is part of our rizq, this will
happen, God willing. However, from our side of things,
we can do nothing but struggle, God willing, toward the
truth with all of the body, mind, heart, and soul which
one can muster. Let our intention be for the truth and our
application of the truth according to our capacity to do
so - nothing else.
The experience of spiritual abuse has, God willing, stripped
us of any pretenses in this regard. We are naked before
Divinity, and we can nothing but seek refuge in Allah from
Allah.
The person to whom - mistakenly, I referred to, and called,
my shaykh for 11 years, or so, tried to taunt me before I
severed all connections with him. He said that now I would
have to be content to be an ‘ordinary’ man.
However, this is a very revealing taunt, and it says more about
the one who is doing the taunting that the one being taunted.
The desire to be other than ‘ordinary’ is a deceit of the
unredeemed nafs and the whisperings of Iblis and the teachings of dajjals. In fact, the spiritual charlatan does what he or she does out of a desire to be other than who, in essence, he or she is ... and this, most assuredly, is an expression of the
greater form of shirk ... a desire to be extraordinary when
only Divinity is qualified to be so.
Our goal should be to become ordinary human beings for only
God is truly extraordinary. Everything is derivative from this
extraordinariness, and none of that belongs to us as individuals - although if Divinity wishes, we may be honored with this or
that visitation of extraordinariness in the form of various
tajalli ... but, then, all of life is a function of tajalli, and, as
a result, all of life is quite extraordinary.
The goal of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)
was not to become an extraordinary servant, but to become
a servant of God. We should seek to follow his example,
and let the chips fall where they may - because the chips
really won’t fall in any other fashion.
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