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A short while later, I returned my attention to Jennifer. I asked: "Do you follow some sort of religious or spiritual path? There are a number of things you have said tonight, and on other occasions, which lead me to believe you do."

Jennifer began by saying: "A lot of people, including myself, might not refer to the path I follow as a religious one, but, yes, I am committed to a spiritual way of life."

"What's the difference between religion and spirituality?" I asked. "I always sort of thought they were one and the same thing."

"One enters contentious territory," Jennifer warned, "when one embarks on an exploration of the possible differences between religion and spirituality. Many people would take exception, some less politely than others, with my ideas on the subject.

"First of all, David, religion tends to be heavily preoccupied with the world of concepts. These concepts- whether in the form of theology, dogma, philosophy, or personal interpretation, play fundamental roles in mediating and coloring an individual's understanding of Reality or Divinity.

"Spirituality, on the other hand, is preoccupied with the different levels and dimensions of the experience of Reality or Divinity. In other words, spirituality is advocating that one's spiritual experience, at some point, should not be mediated by concepts, theories or interpretations.

"Concepts may be acceptable up to a certain point, but the general consensus of the perspective of spirituality is that, ultimately, concepts lead one away from the truth, not toward it. This raises the problem of how one is to go about differentiating between, on the one hand, imagination or fantasy, and, on the other hand, truth or reality, but this is another matter.

"Secondly, religion often gives emphasis to issues of salvation. As such, one of the key motivations underlying many religious acts involves doing something because that action will help one gain heaven or acquire positive karma, while simultaneously helping one to avoid projected negative ramifications that come from sins of commission or omission.

"Spirituality doesn't deny the metaphysical realities or issues of salvation which are associated with the positive or negative consequences of our actions. The motivational orientation, however, is entirely different.

"In spirituality, one's motivation should be to do things because of the intimate nature of our essential relationship with Reality or Divinity, and not because of what we might receive as reward or avoid in the way of negative consequences. The emphasis should be on doing things out of love and gratitude, rather than as a means to some further end.

"In short, religion is about what human beings seek from God. Spirituality is about what God seeks from human beings.

"Thirdly, generally speaking, religion operates on the basis of trying to change people from the outside in. Spirituality concentrates on helping people to change from the inside out.

"More specifically, religion is concerned with imposing a doctrinal framework onto the individual. This framework must be internalized in order for the individual to be considered a properly functioning member of the religious collective.

"Spirituality is concerned with the realization of one's true identity and essential capacity. Proper intention, thinking, understanding, awareness and activity all flow from a realized inner nature, not internalized external doctrines.

Jennifer turned her head away from me and lowered it slightly. She put one hand up toward her face and let the hand hover there.

Suddenly, she sneezed. This was quickly followed by another, lesser sneeze.

She rummaged around in her purse for some Kleenex. She wiped her nose and apologized for the interruption.

She threw the used Kleenex in a nearby garbage can. Closing her purse, she turned back to me and picked up where she had left off.

"Fourthly, religion tends to place great emphasis on the exoteric. One is required to perform rituals, irrespective of whether one understands the nature and purpose of those rituals. The important feature is to comply with the ritual and, therefore, conform to the letter of the law.

"In spirituality, the emphasis is much more on the esoteric dimension of whatever forms of practice one may pursue. One should try to be receptive to the spirit of a practice. One should seek to understand the nature and purpose of such practices, not just conceptually, but experientially.

"Fifthly, in religion, faith is, all too frequently, a matter of a blind, static, rigid, narrow acceptance of some belief, value or practice. In spirituality, on the other hand, faith is intended to be a dynamic, living, flexible, continuous growth of one's understanding of the nature of one's relationship with Reality and Divinity.

"Religion often equates faith with an emotional or conceptual commitment to a belief system. Spirituality treats faith as a species of knowledge rooted in realizations drawn from personal experience.

"Sixthly, religion often becomes entangled in politics. This is so both within a religious collective as well as in the manner in which a given religion relates to the surrounding world.

"Spirituality, by and large, seeks to avoid the political sphere, preferring to contribute to society directly, and, where possible, anonymously. These contributions come through the beneficial effects of moral qualities such as compassion, patience, charitableness, tolerance, kindness, honesty, integrity, forgiveness and so on.

"Seventhly, religion tends to gravitate toward a authoritarian modus operandi in which submission is demanded of individuals. Spirituality, on the other hand, is centered around the command and respect that a person's recognition of the authoritative nature of truth brings. Submission is freely given.

"Eighthly, generally speaking, religion is governed by rules, whereas, spirituality is governed by principles. In religion, one needs to know what the rules are before one can act, and in the absence of specific rules, one tends to become disoriented. In spirituality, once one understands the principles, one is able to deal appropriately with any situation even if none of the available rules seems to be relevant to the present situation.

"Finally, in religion, the participation of the individual often revolves primarily around interaction with an institution such as a church, temple, mosque or synagogue. Personal interaction with the leader of that institution tends to be of a secondary nature, if it takes place at all.

"In spirituality, participation primarily revolves around one's personal relationship with a teacher or guide. Participation in some kind of institutional activity is of secondary importance, if it occurs at all."

Jennifer followed-up her nine point distinction between religion and spirituality by saying: "Some people would argue that religion encompasses all the interests, emphases and tendencies of spirituality. However, if this argument were correct, the history of the world would be very different.

"Religion is what human beings bring to history. Spirituality is what Divinity or Reality brings to history. Spiritual history is very, very different from religious history.

"We are inspired and find hope, encouragement and love through spiritual history. We are embarrassed and discover despair, disappointment and enmity through religious history.

"People are inherently drawn to spirituality because it is in our essential nature to find resonance with the teachings and practices of spirituality. People become confused, however, when religion attempts to convince them that religion and spirituality are synonymous.

"People are induced to believe religion can satisfy and realize the longings of spirituality. This can never happen, because religion is preoccupied with the concerns of religion, not those of spirituality.

"Religion is at its best when it is informed, colored, shaped and oriented by spirituality. Spirituality is at its worst when it is informed, colored, shaped and oriented by religion."

When I was certain that Jennifer had finished, I remarked: "While I've been listening to you, Jennifer, I've realized that almost all of my interactions with religion have been very painful and frustrating. I often felt like a 'stranger in a strange land' and didn't understand why I felt that way.

"I'm quite certain I helped create many of my own problems, and I certainly don't mean to imply that all my spiritual difficulties are due to the influences of religious activity, beliefs or values. Yet, what you say makes a lot of sense with respect to why I might have frequently felt out of phase with many facets of a religious orientation and atmosphere.

"Until now, I've been very confused about what exactly was wrong. In fact, the whole situation has been so unpleasant and problem-laden that I've just let these issues slide from view.

"I wasn't an agnostic or an atheist. I hadn't devised any kind of philosophical or theoretical position concerning religious or spiritual issues. I just tried not to think about these things too much because I didn't seem to have any viable place to go with them.

"Earlier, Jennifer, you referred to yourself as being politically-challenged. Well, I suppose I've been a spiritually-challenged individual for quite some time.

"Perhaps, however, an important part of my problem is that I've been expecting religion to address my longing for spirituality when, if you are right, religion is largely incapable of doing so. In effect, if I might be so bold as to alter a song title slightly, I think I've been looking for spiritual truths concerning my true identity and essential capacity in all the wrong places."

"David, at the risk of breaking the seemingly wonderful momentum we've got going here," Jennifer cautioned, "truth requires me to inform you that the song title in question has been altered more...much more...than slightly. So, I would have to say your boldness borders on, if not topples into, the realm of the reckless."

I responded with: "I'm on the verge of discovering the keys to the universe, and you're worried about technicalities. How can I soar with the eagles, when you want to tether me to a duckbilled platypus?"

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