On the Nature of Spiritual Fear - Part Two
All aspects
of created existence are governed by laws, rules and principles. There are consequences
for violating these laws, rules and principles on every level of existence - from the
physical, to the social, to the spiritual.
If we befoul
ourselves by transgressing various aspects of the ordered character of the universe, then
our own wretched spiritual condition which becomes the consequence with which we must live
for having transgressed in such ways. Indeed, we become our own self-created and
self-imposed punishment.
God knows
how the universe works. Divinity is the One Who has set it up with the nature that it has.
God knows
how human beings work. Divinity is the One Who has given us our constructive spiritual
possibilities, as well as our potential for destructiveness.
If, by God's
grace, we are able to realize our spiritual potential - which alone is at the heart of why
we have been given existence at all - then all praise for this is due to God. On the other
hand, if, by the grace of our own nafs, we are not able to realize our spiritual
potential, then we ourselves seal and determine our fate.
God will not
have to lift a finger against us on the Day of Judgement . We will have done it all to
ourselves.
We will have
inflicted grievous spiritual harm upon ourselves, and God merely has to leave us to our
own choices and devices. In effect, we will be told: 'Alright, if this is what you want,
then this is what you will get - in spades'.
People who
have spent time in sensory deprivation tanks, or similar situations, speak about a variety
of stages that an individual goes through during this process. At some juncture, a stage
may come in which the individual is thrown back on to themselves and they began to
hallucinate, and their internal life of fantasy and imagination becomes the woof and warp
of experience at that point.
We
conveniently forget that everything which is positive and interesting in our interior
lives is a grace from God. This includes fantasy, memory and imagination.
What would
be the condition of our interior lives, if everything positive were removed, and we only
had emptiness, darkness, worthlessness, loneliness, and boredom for our eternal
companions? In the sensory deprivation tanks, people at least have fantasy or imagination
to fall back on, but what if we were brought face to face with what we actually have to
offer independently of God's grace - namely, our own nothingness?
Furthermore,
what if these "companions" were bathed in an intense, unrelenting awareness both
of what the truth about ourselves is, as well as in a realization of what might have been
but, now, is eternally lost? All of this, compliments of our nafs and our free-will
offering of allowing ourselves to give in to the incessant whining and nagging of the
unending desires of the nafs.
While in
this condition of deprivation, we will not be able to go sleep as we can now when we get
too tired of ourselves. Moreover, while in this state, we will not be able to distract
ourselves, as we can now, with various diversionary tactics in which - in addition to the
participation of our own nafs - the world, Iblis and the unbelievers also are quite
active.
Instead, all
we will be able to do is experience the full horror of our own being, devoid of all
spirituality and all of the positive supports, capacities, and endowments which God has
generously bestowed upon us in this life.
We will not
be able to idle away the time using our intelligence and creative imagination to amuse
ourselves. Intelligence and creative imagination are gifts of God, and these do not belong
to us. They will be summarily stripped from us, like the signs and marks of honor are
stripped from a disgraced officer who has been found guilty of traitorous activities in a
court-martial.
All we will
have is our awareness of the wretched, pitiful, foul, sickening, and agonizingly painful
nature of our spiritually and ontologically empty condition - the one we have spent a life
time on Earth in creating. And, we will have the deep, abiding awareness that we have
brought ourselves to this lowly condition.
Our fear of
God is the realization we have, however dim this realization may be, that when we meet
God, then God will let us know, in no uncertain terms, what we have done to ourselves and
just how we have ruined all the good things which God had planned for us. Divinity wanted
to shower us with blessings, and we said: "Thanks, but no thanks."
And, God may
say to us: "Then, no thanks it is, and in you go to the mother of all
sensory/intellectual/spiritual deprivation tanks: Hell. I hope you will enjoy what you
have wrought and bought with your life." But, of course, we won't - not even a
little.
God has said
of Divinity: "My mercy doth take precedence over My wrath." Yet, God also has
warned us of what the consequences are for those who treat the purpose of this Earthly
life with contempt.
We should
fear our meeting with God for the unwelcome situation in which we have placed Divinity.
Now, the difficult decision must be made as to whether, or not, God should permit the
human being's capacity as a free agent (as one who has been given the discretionary power
to make decisions in life) to take precedence over God's mercy.
Should God
honor our status as creatures who have been entrusted with a free will? Or, should
Divinity save us from ourselves one last time?
Human beings
are very quick in this life to take exception with the possibility that God might be
interfering with our precious free choice. In effect, many human beings are saying, if the
choice is really mine, then let me do what I want, and I don't want any interference.
If this is
how we want it in life, then why should God change the arrangement in the next life just
because we no longer wish to accept responsibility for the consequences which go with the
territory of free choice? If God does not change the arrangement, then Divinity permits
our freedom to take precedence over Divine mercy - but, remember, this has been our wish
all along.
God loves us
and doesn't want this for us. At the same time, Divinity respects our individuality and
the way we exercise the free choice which is at the heart of that individuality.
If we go to
the mother of all deprivation tanks, it is because we have chosen to do so and God is
merely honoring our wish. We did not want Divinity to interfere on Earth, so now Divinity
may stay out of the matter in the next life as well.
We are alive
now. Sooner or later, we will not be.
When our
time is up, so are our opportunities. If an individual will not do things for Allah's
sake, then the individual might think about doing them for her or his own sake.
Know that
whatever transgression one commits, one commits them, first and foremost, against oneself.
If one, for example, does not say prayers or does not fast, then it is the soul of the one
who is abstaining from these things which suffers and no one else - certainly not God. It
is such a person's soul which is condemning itself and bringing itself one step closer to
possible spiritual ruination.
Doing things
as Allah wishes is the best way because these methods serve as the spiritual protocalls or
algorithms, so to speak, which God has made available to us for helping us to generate
solutions concerning what it is that God wants us to realize about our true spiritual
identity and essential spiritual capacity. These Divine protocalls or algorithms are known
by Divinity to be effective in bringing about the spiritual transformation of the
individual - as opposed to our own philosophical and scientific inventions which have no
capacity for a spiritually transforming efficacy whatsoever.
God has
given us all a secret potential. This potential is a partial manifestation, reflection or
expression of the hidden treasure alluded to in a well-known hadith qudsi (a
non-revelatory saying which comes from the mouth of the Prophet but conveys the
communication of Divinity).
This
treasure is the intention behind, as well as the purpose of, existence. If one turns one's
back on this, then one is working in opposition to the whole fabric and character of
being.
God is
longing for us with an unfathomable longing. This longing is not for the sake of Divinity
since Divinity already has all that can be had. God's longing is for us to come and know
and share in what Divinity already knows and is.
This Divine
longing is God's wish for us. If we work in accordance with that wish, then, we will find,
God willing, that Divinity is happy and overjoyed for our sake. If we work in opposition
to that Divine wish, then we may find, God forbid, that Divinity is angry with us for our
sake - at what we have denied ourselves.
As a Sufi
once said, the real faqir (one who practices austerities and denies himself or herself) is
not one who chooses God over the world. The real faqir is one who chooses the world over
God.
A person
must decide which kind of faqir he or she wants to be.
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