Doubt and its Antidote
The person to whom the
following e-mail was sent spoke about being, from time to time, beset with deep doubts not
only about the degree of Truth to be found through the Sufi mystical Path onto which the
individual had stepped, but, as well, had certain doubts concerning the spiritual guide
with whom the person had taken initiation The individual who wrote the e-mail also talked
about a very powerful spiritual experience which occurred during College days - an
experience filled with light and love and manifested through the form of a human being.
Doubt is a natural part
of the path in the sense that Allah, the Infinitely Wise, has given us this capacity for
doubt - a capacity which is a two-edged sword. On the one hand, there are many facets of
life experience which need to be treated with caution, circumspection and critical
reflection, and doubt can play a valuable role in this process of holding up experience to
close scrutiny.
On the other hand, doubt
can also be the scourge of faith since it seeks to eat away at the fabric of our
relationship with Allah, as well as with the prophets, the saints, those who are appointed
to guide us from darkness into light, and even our own essential selves.
The perennial question,
of course, is when should we trust doubt and when should we shun it. This question really
has two possibilities associated with it which are like the two kinds of mistakes which
can be made in science - known as Type I and Type II errors.
A Type I error is when an
individual accepts a hypothesis as true, when, in reality, the hypothesis is false. A Type
II error is when one rejects a hypothesis as false, when, in fact, the hypothesis being
rejected is actually true.
Is one's shaykh a true
guide or a false guide. If the shaykh is authentic, and one rejects the shaykh, one has
committed the spiritual equivalent of a Type II error. If one's teacher is a false guide,
yet, one accepts the "teacher" as authentic, then one has committed the
spiritual counterpart to the Type I error mentioned above.
The spiritual problem is
complicated by the presence of a variety of forces which are actively seeking to confuse
the issue. Nafs (the seat of rebellion and resistance to the Divine Plan). Iblis (Satan),
mischievous jinn (beings who like human beings have the capacity to choose between good
and evil), dunya (the world in which our desires entangle us), and unbelievers (those who
do not believe in Divinity as the ultimate Reality and Source of all other relative
realities) come together separately and in combination with one another in an attempt to
undermine our spiritual judgment.
The Mercy, Love,
Generosity, Support, Protection, and Kindness of Allah shield us from the relentless
pursuit of those enemies of ours who constantly are seeking openings of personal weakness
through which to attack us. On our own, we have no chance to defeat the forces which have
been set against us by the Divine Plan of God.
One of the potential
weapons with which Allah has equipped those who step onto the Sufi path is 'nisbath' or,
roughly speaking, the spiritual umbilical cord which links a seeker with his or her
shaykh, and, through the shaykh, to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), and,
ultimately, to Allah - although, in reality, the nisbath, shaykh, and Prophet are but
different expressions of one and the same Reality - our relationship with Allah.
The nisbath is with one
even in pre-eternity ... that is, the time, so to speak, or state of being we had prior to
coming into the created realm. However, it is in the crucible of created existence that
the nisbath either grows or withers - it is that potential about which we are warned in
the Qur'an toward the beginning of Surah Shams ... namely, those who cause this potential
to wither will fail in the purpose of life, while those who seek to increase it, and with
God's help, do so, succeed in life's purpose.
A seeker must distinguish
between the false self and the essential self. There is much spiritual and moral ugliness
to which the false self gives expression, and during the heat of spiritual struggle,
supposing that one is, in essence, this ugliness becomes a very easy thing to do even
though such is not the case.
Nevertheless, we have
responsibility for what goes on with our false selves. This means we have the task of
striving to make sure that what goes on with the false self does not spill over into the
realms of commission and omission, and, thereby, induce us to transgress the bounds of
propriety.
The Prophet (peace be
upon him) did not say the feeling of anger was wrong. He indicated that what was wrong was
not swallowing the anger once it started to rise within one.
Even such a spiritually
seminal eminence as Hazrat Ali (may Allah be pleased with him), the son-in-law of the
Prophet, showed, very clearly, there is a difference between the false self and the
essential self. You may be familiar with the story of Hazrat Ali (may Allah be pleased
with him) in which he was in battle with one of the unbelievers.
Eventually, by the Grace
of Allah, Hazrat Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) was able to put the person against
whom he was fighting in a vulnerable, submissive position. This latter individual chose
this time to spit in the face of Hazrat Ali (may Allah be please with him) as one, last
act of defiance and contempt.
When this happened,
Hazrat Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) immediately withdrew his sword and walked away
from the defeated antagonist. This action of Hazrat Ali (may Allah be pleased with him)
astonished his opponent.
The latter asked Hazrat
Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) why he had lowered his sword and walked away when he
was in the superior position and easily could have vanquished his enemy. Hazrat Ali (may
Allah be pleased with him) replied that when the man spit in his face, the nafs of the
Hazrat reared up and demanded that the opponent be run through.
When this happened,
Hazrat Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) knew the real enemy was within and that it
would be far more important to cut to shreds the inner, invisible antagonist than to
vanquish the external, physical one. Consequently, he lowered his sword and walked away.
Both you and I are far
removed from the spiritual capacity of Hazrat Ali (may Allah be pleased with him). Yet,
here is an individual of unbelievably great spiritual stature who admitted to the
existence of the force of nafs within him.
Anger is just one of the
ways in which the nafs is manifested. Doubt also can be another form of expression which
is assumed by the nafs.
Through a process of
self-hypnosis, the nafs tries to induce us into supposing we are this doubt or anger or
pride or lust or jealousy and, that, therefore, we should run with such feelings when they
arise. But, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and Hazrat Ali (may Allah be pleased
with him) have shown us that we must make a distinction between the emanations of the
false self and the potential of the essential self - the potential which, with the help of
Allah, permits us to see the nafs as something other than who we, in essence really are
... an essence which has the God-given ability to resist anger when it arises, and to
swallow it and Hazrat Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) did during the heat of battle.
Al-Muhasibi (may Allah be
pleased with him), the great early mystic of Baghdad, was one of the first spiritual
psychologists. Part of his method was to examine the contents of consciousness and trace
these entities back to their origins in order to see what was at the root of some given
thought, feeling, or the like.
Whenever a feeling or
thought arose within him, he would seek to probe the underlying intention and determine
what was moving force, so to speak, within such a feeling or thought and whether it
concerned intentions such as trust, sincerity, love, friendship, or whether the underlying
motivating intention, was due to insincerity, hypocrisy, doubt, deceit, or the like?
When doubt arises in you,
try to trace this state of consciousness back to its origins. Be like the astronomers who
take their electromagnetic radiation readings from their instruments and, then, attempt to
figure out how far back in time such a radiation signature began and what the significance
of that radiation is to the meaning of things in the world of today.
The Sufi shaykhs talk
about the term 'dhawk' which means tasting in an experiential sense. Every experience has
its own characteristic taste.
However, many years of
work and study are required before an individual can become, by the Grace of Allah, a
spiritual connoisseur and, thereby, be able to discern what elements have gone into the
'cooking' of any given experience merely by the "taste" of the experience. By
examining the contents of one’s consciousness and exploring the forces which are
operative in generating and shaping those contents and lending to them their experiential
'taste', the individual takes the first necessary steps toward becoming a master
"chef" of the way.
As indicated earlier,
sometimes the origins of doubt are rooted in appropriate intentions, concerns, and
motivations. On other occasions, this is not the case.
You must learn to
distinguish between the two. Furthermore, when doubt is from a spiritual injurious source,
one must understand that this 'source' is not our essential self even while we realize
that, essential or not, it must be resisted with our nisbath for Allah, the Prophet, the
awliya (friends of God), and the shaykhs of the way.
Our nisbath is our
sincere love for the Truth, for the Reality, of Being which both transcends us, as well as
underwrites, our created existence. When nisbath is fully realized, the individual comes
to understand that "we" are one with that Truth/Reality even while that
Truth/Reality can, in no way, be limited to our participation in such Oneness.
All the practices of the
way are designed to help nourish, protect, support, and assist the growth of nisbath. Our
relationship with our shaykh is for the purpose of bringing to full realization the
significance and value of nisbath, for it is through nisbath that we find our way to our
true, essential identity and our unique spiritual capacity for worshiping Divinity.
When we doubt our shaykh,
we doubt our essence. When we doubt the spiritual luminaries of the Way, we become aligned
with the forces of dissolution. When we spin out of control under the influence of such
doubt, we permit ourselves to become hypnotized by the mesmerizing hype of the unholy four
- dunya, nafs, Iblis and the unbelievers.
The presence of the
foregoing sort of doubt is a warning sign. Spiritual alarms are ringing to inform one that
one must try to shake loose from the spell which doubt has cast upon one before it is too
late.
Shake loose through
critical self-examination like that practiced by al-Muhasibi (may Allah be pleased with
him). Shake loose from the would-be hypnotic forces by holding tightly to the hem of the
tresses of one's spiritual guide.
Clear one's spiritual
perception by realizing that one is not the doubt, but, rather, the doubt is being
generated by one or more of the unholy four working on, and through, one. Free oneself
from the maelstrom of the false self which would suck one down into a darkness far from
the light, beauty and truth of the essential Self.
You must work on your
nisbath with your shaykh - and through your shaykh, the Prophet (peace be upon him), and,
ultimately, Allah. Your nisbath is the key to everything.
Guard your nisbath with
your life, for your happiness depends on its continued security and growth. It is the
amanat which has been entrusted to you and which must, as the Qur'an indicates, be given
back to the One from Whom it issued originally. It is what you will bring with you on the
Day of Judgment and which will be placed in the Scales of Discernment, and it is that
about which you will be questioned in the grave.
Do not permit the sweet
nothings which doubt whispers to your heart and mind dissuade you from suluk or traveling
along the Path of sobriety. Remember well that in the end, the kind of doubt of which you
speak will leave you in a soiled state, ashamed before your Creator, if you should let it
seduce you.
Know that Allah is beyond
all comprehension and know that no matter how many spiritual experiences with which one
may be graced, these are but quantum drops in an Ocean of Infinite dimensions, and that
this Ocean or Muhammadan Reality does not exhaust Divinity. Know that Allah is One, and
there is no other, for the other is an illusion of absence in which something less than
Presence is being manifested to understanding and consciousness of which the
manifestations of a given understanding or consciousness is attending to Presence in an
absent, or unfocused and distracted, sort of way.
All these questions and
doubts about whether there is some other Reality beyond the God of Creation is merely the
idle chatter of that which does not know. It is in the nature of that which does not know
to engage in such idle chatter since it has no Reality with which to work except the
reality of its own emptiness of understanding and spiritual insight.
You were blessed at an
early age with a wonderful and very powerful experience. It showed you possibilities. It
showed you potential. It provided you with something to work with and toward.
But, it was not, and is
not, all that can be. Divinity cannot be exhausted by one experience nor an infinite
series of such experiences, all different from one another.
Just as the archangel
Jibriel (peace be on him) was, on occasion, manifested in human form (as is attested to in
the Hadith), so too, the attributes and names of Allah may be manifested in human form.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) reported having seen God in the form of a beardless youth.
Manifestation - whether
in the form of an archangel, a beardless youth, or a luminous being of overflowing love
and generosity such as appeared in the experience of your early years - do not, and
cannot, circumscribe Divinity, but are, in fact, made possible through Divinity. The
luminous figure you saw is a potential within you - it is a potential within all of us -
and is not necessarily some human being who is external to you.
Do not permit doubt to
divert you from meeting up with the Reality of which your earlier experience was merely a
'taste'. Do not permit your doubt to prevent you from realizing your true fitr or nature.
But, the choice is in
your hands. More specifically, it is in the hands of your nisbath.
When we let the shaykh
come into our lives and wash us clean of the sins of ignorance and rebelliousness, like
the one who washes the dead body, we submit to a process which is necessary for our
spiritual health and protection. Submission is in our best interests, but the doubts of
nafs, Iblis, dunya and unbelievers would try to convince us otherwise.
The Prophet (peace be pun
him) has counseled us to be careful about those with whom we spend time, for our spiritual
conditions is greatly affected by the quality of such companionship. Companionship is as
much a internal matter as it is an external issue.
If one spends time with
doubt, one's spiritual condition will be dyed in the color of doubt. If one spends time
with a loving, encouraging, hopeful, sincere, committed, supportive nisbath, one's
consciousness will be dyed with this color. Be careful whom you take as internal
companions.
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