Some individuals wish to frame the issue of spiritual abuse and manipulation in terms of God's guidance. More specifically, one of the implications of this sort of framing is that people are being asked to believe that those who experience spiritual abuse have been misguided by Allah or have allowed themselves to be misguided. Another implication of this modality of framing reality is that spiritual frauds and the individuals whom they abuse are, more or less, equally culpable, and, alternatively, that, somehow, the people who are abused should have known that they were being lied to and it was their own willingness to lie to themselves about what was going on, or their own failure to recognize the lies they were being told, which is at the heart of their problems.

The foregoing approach to the issue of spiritual abuse and manipulation is, I believe, quite flawed and problematic. Moreover, this is so on a number of levels.

The above statements notwithstanding, I have no doubt there are those who actively court mis-guidance. In other words, undoubtedly, there are people who become involved in situations that are inherently dangerous but which, nevertheless, appeal to the unredeemed qualities of nafs, and because the latter set of forces wins out over discretion concerning the dangers of that situation, such individuals play an active role in becoming entangled by the ramifications of 'choosing' mis-guidance.

However, a mistake is made, I feel, when one uses the above scenario as a universal model for explaining what transpires in all circumstances involving spiritual abuse and manipulation. The error is in the assumption that whomever is abused somehow plays a knowing, active role with respect to inviting abuse and manipulation into their lives.

Did the people who perished in the World Trade Towers tragedy play an active, knowing role in their own demise? After all, the buildings had been the target of a previous terrorist attack which came within a few feet of doing major damage to the towers rather than the limited, though extensive damage, which did result.

Shouldn't the people who worked there have known that another attack was likely? Shouldn't they have understood that, sooner or later, terrorists would try again? Weren't those people being foolhardy? Weren't they just lying to themselves about the real nature of the dangers they faced? Aren't the people who died in that tragedy just as responsible as those who perpetrated the attack? Wasn't God merely exercising Divine wrath and permitting these people to veil themselves from the truth that they were about to die when they went to work on the morning of September 11th?

Such questions seem absurd in the context of the World Trade Center tragedy. Yet, similar questions are being raised in the context of spiritual abuse, and these possibilities are just as absurd in the latter context.

How do we know what the significance of any event or set of events is? Can kashf save us in all such instances?

If so, why did the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) realize that the sweetmeats he was being fed were poisoned only after he had put them in his mouth, thereby, permitting the toxins to enter his system and attack him, from time to time, throughout the remainder of his life? And, why did those Companions who were sitting with him not spit out the poisoned food, as did the Prophet? Were they devoid of kashf? Were they bad people and, therefore, they deserved what they got? Were they reckless in trusting the woman who served them the dish of sweetmeat?

Would we have reacted any differently if we had been in their situation? Would we have had a superior spiritual capacity which would have enabled us to immediately understand what the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his Companions did not comprehend until it was too late?

Did Prophet Jonah (peace be upon him) understand the significance of his being swallowed by a denizen of the deep? Was he being punished or was he being used by Divinity to illustrate some of the methodology encompassed by tauba? Did Jonah (peace be upon him) lie to himself when he ran away from his responsibilities or did he really not understand the nature of the situation and, therefore, acted incorrectly, but innocently? Did Jonah (peace be upon him) lie to himself, or was his understanding obscured until Allah was ready for the veils to be lifted?

Are adversities, pain, difficulties, problems, hardships, and conflict indicies of punishment and Divine displeasure? Or, are they merely occasions for struggle, spiritual opportunity, and the rigorous tests which Divinity has promised us? Is Divine displeasure a bad thing or merely a way of getting our attention?

Are we to suppose that those who are favored by Divinity only experience the Attributes of jamal? If so, what are we to make of the fact that the most severely tested of human beings are the prophets and messengers of Allah, and, then, after them the other awliya, and, only then, the generality of people?

Did Adam (peace be upon him) and Eve (may Allah be pleased with her) know what they were getting into when they partook in that which was forbidden to them? Did they understand all the ramifications of their actions and how earthly history would be set in motion through their act - an act which formed a necessary part of Allah's purpose?

People who suppose they understand the significance of events which occur -- either collectively or individually -- are alluding to possessing a knowledge to which even the elect of God do not always have access. No one knows what is being laid up for the 'morrow. No one knows what his or her fate will be on the Day of Judgment. No one knows how one is being graded on the choices one makes or how such choices fit into the overall fabric of the Divine plan. No one knows who will be told that she or he has been correct or incorrect - and, it is presumptuous to suppose otherwise.

Some people are permitted by Allah to fall into error so that, eventually, they can be guided (e.g., Adam and Eve - may Allah bless them both). Some people are guided by Allah so that, in time, they can be misguided (e.g., Iblis).

What is guidance? One way of approaching this question is to speak in terms of those experiences which, when reflected and meditated upon, lead, by the Grace of Allah, to deeper understanding of life's purpose. There were many people during the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) who were provided experiences which were reflected and meditated upon but which did not lead to understanding because God's grace was absent from their deliberations.

We think we know. In truth, we do not.

We know only what Allah permits us to know and understand. We know only in a relative sense, according to our capacity to do so, which is one of the reasons why the Prophet said one should speak to people according to their level of understanding.

The rest of what we think we know is but ignorance and arrogance. We make judgments about situations that we do not properly appreciate. We are ready to attribute to ourselves God-like omniscience and suppose that our assessment of the significance of events in the lives of other people, not to mention our own, is correct, and, yet, even the Prophets and saints struggled with such matters - the same kind of matters that we assume we understand so clearly.