Seeking
There once lived a man who had spent most of his adult life
trying to become spiritually realized. With perseverance, he had
followed the instructions of his mystical guide -- at least, as best as he
understood her directives and counsels. Moreover, for nearly three
decades, he had attended each and every mystical assembly which
was held either in his town or in nearby towns.
He was conscientious, honest, sincere, and committed with
respect to various mystical practices. In addition, he tried to help
whomever he could -- irrespective of whether, or not, such people
were on the mystical path.
Yet, he had not tasted the fruits of mystical self-realization.
There was no deep, abiding joy in his life. His life lacked a sense of
oneness with Being. His heart was not overflowing with love. He was
still trying to catch even a glimpse of his essential identity.
He could not shake the feeling that somewhere, somehow, he was
missing something of importance. And, whatever it might be that he
was not understanding was standing in the way of his fulfilling the
unique purpose of his life.
On many occasions, he had gone to his spiritual guide with this
problem. She always had counseled patience – that the mystical path
was not a matter of storming the Bastille, but, rather, the doors of
mystical perception tended to open of their own accord when the
right combination of spiritual orientation, experience, humility,
understanding, and readiness came into alignment -- and even then,
only by the command of Divinity.
For some people, and God knew best why such was the case, this
sort of alignment happened more quickly than others. All one could
do was to politely keep knocking at the door, wait, and be ready to
take advantage of opportunities as they arose.
She often told him that if he truly trusted God with this matter,
God would not let him down. Sooner, or later, and according to
God’s schedule, not his, he would be given what he needed to cross
the threshold from the ordinary ways of worldly understanding to
the extraordinary ways of mystical understanding.
Although his spirits were lifted whenever he would come away
from these sessions with his teacher, in time, the sense of optimism
and hope he felt on such occasions would dissipate. Soon, he would
find himself back in the same dark mood as before.
He thought about his problem until he was sick of the whole
issue. He desperately wanted to understand the nature of his
difficulty, but to no avail.
Frequently, when these dark moods descended upon him, he
would go out for long walks. He found that walking both helped him
think about things as well as tired him out so he could sleep soundly
without being restless with respect to his spiritual condition.
One day, when he returned home from work in the early
evening, the weather was so pleasant, he decided to go for a long
walk. He would reflect on matters, see life in the city, and get some
exercise.
As far as life in the city was concerned, the walk was relatively
uneventful. However, he did feel he had made a few breakthroughs
– minor though they might be – in relation to better understanding
certain facets of his situation.
Whenever these sort of mini-revelations occurred, his spirits
were buoyed. He would often softly hum songs to celebrate his small
victories of insight and understanding.
He was casually walking along, humming, when he saw a woman
on her hands and knees, crawling about, from place to place, beneath
a light standard in the park. Presumably, she had lost something or
other.
Feeling in an expansive mood, the man decided to stop and see
if there was anything he could do to be of assistance. When he
reached the light pole, he asked: “Are you looking for something?”
The woman looked up briefly at the man, and, then, peered back
at the ground, continuing on with what she had been doing. Finally,
she said: “I’ve lost my keys. Don’t ask me how it happened,” she said
with a trace of embarrassment, “but, I’ve lost my keys.”
“Would you like some help?” the man offered.
She looked up at him again, this time with a certain wariness,
and as she was about to say something, he held up his hand. The man
explained: “I understand the concerns you may have, but if you will
look around you, you will see there are a fair number of people in the
park relatively close by, so I think you are safe.”
The woman raised herself while still on her knees, so she became
somewhat upright. She quickly surveyed the park and nodded her
head in agreement.
Smiling, the woman replied: “Well, I apologize for being
cautious, but, in answer to your question – yes, I would like some
help.”
The man got down on his knees and began helping the woman
look for her keys. As he was doing so, he asked for a description of
the keys.
The woman provided the information. Since the key chain she
talked about was rather large, with many keys and a few other small
items on it, he felt they ought to be able to locate the missing keys in
short order.
As the search progressed, from time to time, the man would ask
various questions, just sort of to break the silence and to be friendly.
At one point, after they had been searching for some time, he asked
her: “How long were you looking for these keys before I came
along?”
The woman sighed. “Quite a while.”
To which he replied: “If you don’t mind my asking, and just so
that I don’t duplicate what you already have done, what areas have
you already checked and what sort of search pattern did you use?”
The woman filled him in on what had gone on before his arrival.
After she finished, the man said: “Well, it certainly seems like you
have been thorough in everything, but, it seems rather puzzling that
you have taken all these steps and you still haven’t found your keys
– especially given how long you have been searching for them.”
He hesitated slightly and, then, continued: “I know you said not
to ask about how you came to lose your keys, but, maybe, it might
help the search if you were to tell me what happened.”
Remembering the touch of embarrassment which had
accompanied the woman’s earlier request for him not to ask how she
had lost the keys, he quickly added: “Even if the circumstances were
somewhat foolish, I promise not to pass judgment – after all, we all
do silly things which often land us in various predicaments.”
The woman appeared to be thinking about what he said as she
moved about beneath the light standard. “Well,” she eventually said,
“I was on the other side of the park, it was dark, and I was trying to
get something out of my purse, but I couldn’t see what I was doing.
“That part of the park is right near the street, and there was a lot
of noise. I think the keys dropped out of my purse but because of the
noise, I didn’t notice them dropping. It was only when I got over here
and began searching my purse in order to get them ready for
unlocking my car that I noticed they were missing.”
The man stopped what he was doing and looked over at the
woman. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I must have misunderstood you. Did
you say you lost your keys on the other side of the park?”
“Yes,” she said, rather shyly.
“Then, why, in God’s name, are you looking for them here?” he
inquired.
In a manner which seemed to suggest everything made perfect
sense, she retorted: “Because there’s light here. There’s no light over
there in that area of the park.”
The man stood up, shaking his head in dismay. “In other words,
you have been wasting my time looking here for keys which are lost
somewhere else just because there is light in this location.”
The woman rose, as well, from her kneeling position. She stared
at the man somewhat defiantly and remarked: “I don’t think it is any
more foolish for me to look for my lost keys here than it is for you to
look for your lost soul beneath the light of reason even though your
soul will never be found through such means.”
She turned around and began walking in the direction of the
other side of the park. As she went away, she looked back over her
shoulder a few times. Each time she looked back she seemed to look
more and more like the man’s teacher, and, then, she disappeared in
the shadows.
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