Leaving
The focus of the meeting was mysticism. The gathering had been
arranged by a spiritual guide who lived in the area.
Among those who attended the session were people who gave
expression to different degrees of commitment to the purpose,
observances, practices, and etiquette of the mystical path. Some of
these individuals were long-time spiritual students of the teacher. A
certain number of the people in attendance had been involved, in one
way or another, for a lesser time, while others had been newly
initiated, and still others were merely visiting, trying to decide if they
wanted to pursue things beyond listening a little or asking questions.
Because there are many ups and downs encompassed by the
mystical journey, there are various events in life which either can
plunge one into spiritual doubt and resistance, or which can send one
soaring with joy and wonder. Moreover, in between these two,
extreme poles of the path, there is a large area marked by numerous
skirmishes of a lesser, but still important, magnitude which through
which the tides of spiritual struggle ebb and flow in a million
different directions.
Every event in the life of a spiritual traveler brings a teaching.
Whether, or not, an individual is open to what is being taught is
another matter altogether.
Frequently, even, seemingly, small events may lead to very
essential lesson. For instance, consider the situation of the following
individual who was part of the assembly which had been convened
by the aforementioned guide.
This fellow had been initiated some years before by the spiritual
teacher. According to the person’s inclinations and circumstances, he
had been doing what he could to learn about, and put into practice,
the principles of the mystical way being taught by his teacher.
The man liked to ask questions when it was appropriate to do so,
and the meeting had been convened for precisely this purpose – that
is, to give people an opportunity to ask whatever questions they
wished concerning different aspects of the mystical life. So, among
those asking questions was this man.
As sometimes happens, one of the questions raised by this
individual led to an answer from the spiritual guide which, for
reasons that were not readily apparent, upset the man. Outwardly,
this person was still part of the meeting, but inwardly, he was far
away.
As his question was being answered and, as well, upon
completion of the teacher’s remarks, the student had permitted
himself to be caught up in some of the many emotional and mental
currents which ran through his consciousness while he had been
listening to the teacher’s comments. As a result, before the man knew
what was happening, he had become caught up in a very strong
undertow which was dragging him down into the murky depths of
doubt, fear, anxiety, and panic.
Every time he tried to extricate himself from his internal plight,
the lifeline of thought or understanding he was trying to use in order
to get free of the forces which were carrying him along, the man
began to be drawn in the direction of a new eddy of uncertainty and
difficulty. With the passage of time, the man’s spiritual condition
worsened.
Feeling very despondent and uncomfortable, the man waited for
a chance to leave the gathering in an unobtrusive manner. When the
right opportunity arose during a break, he began heading for the
stairs with the intention of leaving the building.
On his way out, he met one of the long-time associates of the
spiritual guide who, with a rather surprised expression on his face,
said: “Are you leaving so soon? Things are just getting interesting.”
In a non-obvious way, the long-time companion briefly studied
the man who was leaving, and, followed up his earlier question and
comment with: “I liked the questions you were asking. The responses
which our guide gave in relation to them were very helpful, I feel, to
many of those who were in attendance.”
The man’s head nodded in appreciation of the compliment, but
his facial expression, along with his rather rueful semi-smile,
suggested that the compliment had touched on a sensitive issue. The
man merely said: “Well, I’ll see you sometime soon, I’m sure,” and
he walked away from the teacher’s close companion, down the stairs,
out of the building, and toward his home.
When the assembly once again began the discussion, not very
much time had elapsed before the teacher surveyed the gathering
and asked: “Where is so-and-so?” – that is, the man who now was on
his way back to his house.
The associate who had met and talked with that individual prior
to the latter’s leaving the building informed his teacher that: “He has
gone. He seemed to be upset by something which went on during the
meeting ... in relation to one of his questions I think.”
The teacher turned to another long-time student and requested
him to go and bring the man back. Immediately, the individual did
as he was asked.
About an hour later, the two men came into the room. The
teacher motioned for the man who had left in a condition of being
upset to come and sit by him.
When the man sat down, his guide inquired: “Son, why did you
leave?”
The man was reluctant to say anything. Part of this was because
he was confused by the whole series of events which had taken place
and didn’t quite know what to say, and part of his reticence was
because he knew he had made a mistake by not asking the teacher’s
permission to leave the assembly.
Finally, feeling rather embarrassed by the whole situation, he
said: “I was upset by some of the things you were saying in response
to my last question. One thing led to another and before I knew it I
found myself walking out of the building, heading for home. I
apologize for not, first, seeking your permission to leave, and I hope
you will forgive me.”
The teacher gently said: “I didn’t call you back because of your
lapse in etiquette. Such things happen sometimes and in the overall
scheme of things that issue is not as important as the principle for
which you were brought back.”
The man began to feel very anxious. What other mistake had he
made?
His guide smiled at him and said: “Dear one, you may leave me,
but I cannot leave you.”
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