Contentment
There are different kinds of contentment. Some forms of this
condition are expressions of a good spiritual orientation.
Other expressions of contentment have injurious
ramifications for the state of one's spiritual health. Still other
modes of contentment are signs of the presence of a spiritual
excellence.
One sort of contentment is rooted in the inertia of indolence.
When we operate out of this framework, we may see all
manner of things which could be improved. If we could
introduce such improvements, we would be very happy. Yet,
we can't be bothered to do so.
We may not be satisfied with our situation, but we are too
lazy to do anything about it. As such, we are content, sort of,
to let things continue on as they are.
On occasion, when we are under the spell of this inertial
contentment, we may change our priorities and value system.
We do this not as a result of long philosophical and spiritual
examination about what is and is not important in life.
Instead, we undergo changes of outlook, because our
laziness will not permit us to entertain any other options.
We become vassals in the fiefdom of the lord of indolence.
We must do what our master orders. We must make the
necessary accommodations in our lives and have contentment
with this order of things.
As serfs, we go about our business of living within the
constraints laid down by our lord and master. We take
whatever pleasures and enjoyment are possible or permitted
within this kingdom. However, our lives consist, by and large,
in a very limited repertoire of habits, rituals, customs, and
traditions.
There are few degrees of freedom. Initiative is discouraged,
if not punished, by the demons within.
Thoughts of revolution scurry furtively about amidst the
shadows of our minds and hearts. Unfortunately, there is no
leadership or wide-spread support for such an undertaking.
In any event, this would take a lot more work than we are
prepared to offer.
Given enough time, we become institutionalized under the
guidance of laziness. We come to accept the prison we have
permitted to be built around our lives. We no longer dream of
escape. If we see an exit sign, we back away in fear and
loathing.
We feel things aren't so bad. In fact, in many ways they are
pretty good.
We begin to resent anything which would threaten the status
quo. The idea of change becomes very disconcerting.
We like things the way they are. We have found contentment
in our lives.
Another variety of contentment is underwritten by an: 'I'm
O.K., you're O.K.', sort of philosophy. This form of
contentment comes from a feeling of self-satisfaction with the
state of things, especially in relation to our level and quality
of performance.
When we gaze through the glasses of this kind of
contentment, we tend to give ourselves a high approval rating
in the job of life. However, we do so in a modest way.
We think to ourselves: I've done O.K. in school; and, I've
done O.K. in my career; and, I've done O.K. financially; and,
I've done O.K. in my marriage and with my family; and, I've
done O.K. with my physical fitness and health; and, I've done
O.K. with my hobbies and leisure time activities; and, I've
done O.K. with my maturation of selfhood; and, I've got an
O.K. personality; and, I've been an O.K. in-law. The cup of
our contentment runneth over.
We look to our friends and acquaintances and say: "Hey,
you're O.K. too." We are content with them and the manner
in which their check lists of self-approval are filled with
O.K.'s.
Of course, if we were really all O.K., the world would not be
in the terrible shape it is. However, we have a back-up
position: I'm still O.K., but some of you are not O.K..
Problems and difficulties and tragedies are always created by
other people. We have not created the terrible conditions
which are being manifested in our communities and in society
and in the world, but we're doing O.K. in coping with the
messes left by others.
In our desire to find contentment with ourselves, we become
blind and inured to our contribution to the dismal state of the
union. We forget about, or excuse, our: insensitivity; or,
impatience; or, intolerance; or, selfishness; or, bigotry; or,
disloyalty; or, lying; or, dishonesty.
We forgive ourselves for our lack of compassion. We are
extremely forbearing with ourselves when it comes to our
thoughtlessness, mistakes, foibles, hypocrisies and
insincerities.
We feel justified in our jealousy, envy, anger and hatred. We
slough off our rudeness and inconsiderateness as the
understandable results of having a "bad" day.
We punish our "loved" ones emotionally and physically,
while defending ourselves with: "I'm under a lot of pressure
right now". We take: "I'm sorry!" as a useful social formula
for clearing the way for us to commit the same act again.
We do not suffer fools gladly. We have contempt for many
things and many people in society and allow it to shape and
color our interaction with others.
We frequently fail to extend mercy or kindness to others. Yet,
we often are affronted when others do not meet our
expectations for kindness in our times of need.
The foregoing considerations notwithstanding, we still
believe fervently we are, more or less, O.K.. We may have a
few residual, peripheral short-comings, but, essentially we
are O.K..
Despite evidence to the contrary, we persist in holding on to
the pleasantness which is derived from the general sense of
contentment we have with respect to ourselves. Moreover,
we tend to resent, and get annoyed with, any suggestion there
may be considerable reason why we ought to feel other than
contentment with our way of being in the world.
Another kind of contentment involves an irresolvable
paradox. We are not content with what we have, but we are
driven by the illusion that if certain conditions were satisfied
we would be satisfied. Unfortunately, no matter what
transpires, we do not find the elusive sense of contentment
we believe is just over the next horizon.
This state of affairs is extremely frustrating. We have a very
clear sense in our minds of what would give us contentment.
However, when we are able to realize, in reality, the vision or
image we have in our minds, the reality never seems to
measure up to our mental image of how things should be.
Something is always wrong, or fails to be just so, with reality.
Consequently, we are left with a residue of disappointment
and dissatisfaction. The amount of this residue will vary with
the dissonance between image and reality.
We hunger for contentment. The search for contentment
drives and consumes us.
We can almost taste the contentment, but reality keeps filling
up our cups with salt water. Our thirst for contentment is
never quenched. In fact, quite the opposite is the case. With
each sip, we long for more, until we die from our desires.
The opposite of the foregoing is someone who is truly,
sincerely happy with, and appreciative of, whatever one may
receive. No matter how small may be that which is given to
the individual, there is no sense of dissatisfaction associated
with the gift or that which is offered.
There is no expectation for more or other than what is
received. Instead, the individual feels a genuine sense of
contentment with the favors and benefits which God has
brought into one's life.
This latter sense of contentment gives expression to a good
spiritual orientation. Nevertheless, the Sufi masters speak of
a station which transcends the kind of contentment just
outlined.
To be thankful for, and content with, benefits and gifts
received is one thing. This is difficult enough for most of us.
To be thankful for, and content with, troubles and difficulties
is another matter altogether. This sort of contentment cannot
be exhibited by someone unless that individual has completely
submitted herself or himself to God. It is a mark of spiritual
excellence.
Such a person never feels any regret with respect to what
God brings into her or his life. This kind of contentment is
embedded in an understanding that God knows what is best
for one's spiritual advancement, whether in the way of ease
or trials.
The individual works with, finds value in, and use for
whatever comes into his or her life. According to the Sufi
masters, there is an extraordinary degree of peace, humility
and happiness contained in this sort of contentment.
| Return to Streams Menu |
|
